Total Pageviews

Monday, 21 March 2011

Grass is greener on the other side

"An opinion is like an ass**le, everybody has one." This was the introductory statement made by my boss when we just sat to have a cup of tea. I spat my first sip once I heard the same and burst out laughing. "What the hell was that?", I wondered. He was right, opinions are something which everybody does have. Perceptions are reality.

I still remember, the times I was in college, how I adored people wearing charcoal grey, navy blue, black suits with striped/plain shirts and fancy neck-ties. I always thought that these people were the most happy beings on earth, those among God's chosen ones, who were destined to enjoy all the world's luxury and goodies. I used to look at myself wearing t-shirts with nasty slogans - my favorite being ,"99% of girls are beautiful, the rest 1% is in my college." - and faded jeans. I just thought to myself, when can I live a life like the people I just mentioned of, sit in luxury air-conditioned cars, travel in business class, have beautiful secretaries, Rolex watches, Mont Blanc/Pierre Cardin pens, expensive laptops etc. etc. Now thats what I call a life !!!! I just puffed my cigarette and read the slogan , "Live Life King Size !" - so analogous to my thoughts. I then remembered that I was rejected by the first company that came to my college for campus and then said to myself , "Nah !!! this is bullshit, you will stay where you are. Land my friend !!! You have a long way to go. " That was my opinion about life. My perception to where I was and my dreams about where I wanted to be.

Ten years from then, I've started wearing suits almost a fortnight, striped shirts have become the order of the day, travel in ac cars and business class , but the comparison my mind made ten years back has actually changed sides. Now I want to wear t-shirts with dirty slogans, faded jeans, a tea with friends in a dilapidated tea shop.

Why? This question strikes my mind . Something which I called life about 10 years back and craved for it , is something that I am tired of . I want to go back to where I was. I soon figured that I was suffering from "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. Girls who used to look unattractive to me in college suddenly looked astonishingly beautiful to me and I repented, "Saala chance miss kar diya / S**t I missed an opportunity man ". The ugly duckling fairy tale.

Moral of the story perceptions are reality and an opinion is like an assh**le. Just do not finger one's opinion or else you would land up with a smelly finger.



Friday, 18 March 2011

Indian Population - the only competition in which Indians are sure to win

Prominence !!! What the hell was that ? Why did I start my blog with this word ? I remembered my friend who in an extempore started his speech with the word SEX !!!! All were taken aback, silence prevailed almost in a instant , a 13 year old boy crying that aloud !!! The principal of my school who happened to be a Jesuit priest clattered his teeth thinking, " Come down from the podium and I will show you what intercourse is , you shameless brat " . But, the next moment, he says," Now that I have your attention let me start the topic of the day, Success is not a destination but a journey." The auditorium applauded and burst out laughing. That was prominence, a very promising speaker who prominently demonstrated his presence and won the hearts of all.

But my mind was boggling about the first word that he uttered, Sex !!!!! A thing that fantasizes the heart of every teenager. Lust was clinging, tall girls with conspicuous assets , surrounding and craving for my attention. Brain is an excellent painter, it paints the image of one's thoughts with utmost perfection.

Stage 2 college !!! The word SEX was now associated with Love .... Lust was almost gone . I realized that I was growing up.

Stage 3 Work !!! The flavor of the word was almost lost . I felt disgusted seeing people bowing their heads down in shame after listening to this word, How I despised the reaction of my principal now . What disgusted me is the fact that most of us were living double standards. Sex is still a taboo for most of us. In villages people still blush when this word is uttered. WTF , I wonder. I appreciate the fact that we are rich in culture and have an age old heritage which many countries lack. We have an immense bundle of talent. Our strength lies in our people , who have the capability to shake the world. But we still have a very defensive attitude. We never seem to accept our mistakes. How long can we lead our lives with a "Chalta Hai " attitude.

Now coming to the first word, Prominence !!! We are becoming prominent, our accomplishments are drawing the attention of the world. The biggest amongst them is our population. This is something which cannot be broken by any country. I agree that China has a bigger population but they are having many measures to control the same. Be rest assured we will beat them hands on. We are a developing nation !!! I hate this statement . My grandfather heard it, my father heard it and now I am hearing this, I do not know if my son and grandchildren will also hear it or not. And our defensive society states that we have a large population as an excuse. Give me a break man. What are we doing to control that? Lame ads on TV on Vasectomy, a person risking his life to get a condom !!!

Sex is a taboo - quite reflected by our body language but not our actions or our thinking. Women getting married early and then turning into baby producing machines. Friends if you read this blog, please do not think I'm complaining. I'm tired of hearing the fact that we are not developing because of our growing population, our corruption etc. etc. We are not developing because we have a weak conscience, are defensive and lack self control.

I will be going to villages for sure, spreading this word, to control our population through the means of education as I do not see any other means. Please suggest if you have alternative solutions. let us all shed our "Chalta Hai" attitude, join hands , accept mistakes, and take measures of correcting them. Show to the world that we are prominent in changing the evils of our society and Making India a developed nation.




Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Inertia


Newton was a genius who ruined lives of many. God !!! why did you not drop a boulder on his head instead of the apple? A wish every engineer/ science student makes in his life. But anyways he died and left us with laws. Laws and in-laws make a huge difference in your life. Some of my friends heard / created - not sure - one more - "a pole in a hole creates a new soul".

Newton stated ," Every body remains in a state of constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force ." Very true and analogous to our own lives. I was talking about a stress buster a few days back, which happened to come as an oasis in desert of a monotonic life. I met my old friends and had a gala time last weekend. This stress buster was an external force which had a great difference in my energy levels. The next was India's defeat to South Africa in ICC World Cup 2011, when my friend remarked as Aamir Khan in Lagaan, " Kachara Khelega/ Kachara will play". For your reference Kachara is Piyush Chawla. Details mentioned in appendix. We spent hours driving, listening to the song based on our life , "Real Good Looking boy". The next comment was the best. "Behind every successful batsman there is Kamran Akmal. There is a striking similarity between Kamran and Michael Jackson. They both wear gloves for no reason. Kamran's best line would be , " Can I drop you please?" ". We had it. This couldn't help even Nestor from laughing, if he followed cricket. 

Moral of the story: You forget yourself with your buddies and are in a new orbital altogether. The aura around you spreads a lot of positive energy that sucks everything around you as a vacuum cleaner and you feel as if you are the center of the universe. 

Then another external force. Holiday ends. I am back in office, with hundreds of mails lying in my inbox demanding my attention. The aura around you dimmers but the energy levels are much higher than what it was.  I suddenly realize that I've become very efficient and I thank Newton whom I criticized a few days back to design such a law.

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Stress Buster

Life is fabulous, this is a statement which often is taken understated. As an individual I have always tried to keep a balance between work and pleasure, but lately I've found that I'm similar to a rocket which takes off with an extremely high escape velocity into a trajectory where gravitational pull becomes minimal and it does not know which path to take as it's own motion is not in it's control.

Vacuum plays the role now. Something devoid of matter matters now. Nothing  now is the only thing important to that rocket. My life is also analogous to that rocket. To describe myself, as what my friends called me, " all time entertainment channel, electrocuted ball of enthusiasm, red bull running in my veins instead of blood". Please do not take me wrong. I am not here to blow my trumpet but to draw attention to the fact that how time plays a vital role in changing personalities. Call it astrology, a science which calculates the position of planets based on longitude and time and also the gravitational pull they exercise on us.

I was always surrounded by friends, hanging out with them was my favorite hobby. But now,  a call in week, a status update on facebook, a tweet is the only way we keep in touch. Gravitational pull is now minimal. I'm not acting paranoid but I miss something which I possessed as an asset.

Time for change .... I will go back to where I was. So I've made up my mind. I will go to meet old friends now and have a great time with them, laugh my ass out, crack old jokes and new ones too, leave philosophy, rationality aside and take a few days to be the same old guy I was in school - carefree, hedonistic and the same old "all time entertainment channel".  This stress buster will indeed bring me back to where I belong and life will be indeed fabulous.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Worst Fear

I just posted my first blog and I received a mix of both appreciation and criticism - over phone -> more and blogs-> less. Appreciation was much more subtle as compared to criticism. I even deleted one of the blogs because I was criticized brutally. Reason: Fear. You may ask fear , but why ? I really don't have a perfect answer now. Perhaps because I have a bloated ego that I'm knowledgeable and I do not like people challenging it , perhaps I am afraid that people will come to know that I do not know what I'm talking about or perhaps they will make fun of me saying that this guy is the biggest idiots I have ever met. Nevertheless life teaches you a lesson always. Remember my conscience felt light a few hours ago because I felt that I have done my bit , but have I really .... The answer again is left to how people perceive my thoughts. I felt something and I wrote it, what if it is crap? I will be criticized and I will face the brunt of what I have written and own its consequences. What is important is what I learnt today.

Six lessons learnt :
1. Research before you blog
2. Be precise and substantiate with facts and figures
3. If you are not sure clarify
4. Be ready to take criticism and accept the same boldly
5. Take measures of improvement
6. Have courage .... remember courage is not the absence of fear but a feeling that something else is more important than fear


Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Indian Taxation

This is my first blog, so let me start with an apologetic note that I am not a very proficient writer, nor a geek. Just a common man with some common sense, which is now quite uncommon amongst most of us.

I just had a brainstorming session with my friend and colleague yesterday about taxation rules prevalent in Modern India, a country that is one of the biggest economies of Asia. I am proud to be an Indian but that does not stop me from going far from facts, which is accepted seldom by individuals , who often get defensive due to various reasons. Accepting reality is an attribute which will awaken India and show them their areas of improvement. Accepting mistakes will trigger the mechanisms of correcting them. Defense is not the solution to stop criticism. Inadvertently most of our population is still struggling in the lowest trapezium of Maslow's Triangle of Hierarchy of needs. Reasons enumerable, solutions infinite, but let me now come to the thought that pricked my ever-working brainchild.

Taxation rules can be much simplified in Indian economy. Rather than having different taxation elements, why do we not have just one direct tax. Simplifies the entire process. I know I am no finance expert and this article might demand the attention of many critics, if ever they read this blog :). But I'm simplistic and optimistic and most of all I have a clear conscience.

Leaving the gas apart, let us assume that all Indians have a bank account and the only tax is 1% of their daily bank transactions. To illustrate this theory numerically, let me now demonstrate this with a simple calculation.

No of bank accounts 60 billion assuming that 40% of the population is minors and students
Minimum transaction INR 100/- occurs in a day
Bank Transaction amt in a day INR 6000 Billion
Tax in a day INR 60 Billion
Tax in a year INR 21900 Billion

Not a small amount with a minimum transaction assumed, now if this model is exemplified in real circumstances will reduce a lot of burden from many bodies and will definitely have a positive impact in revenue. No hidden costs at all. You pay tax for what you buy.

I know many people - I repeat if they read this blog - will have differing views, they might also feel that this concept is useless , but as a responsible citizen of the nation I am now exercising my Right to Speech . I am neither an Economist. I love my country and want it to thrive, bring down bureaucracy , see that it is not criticized or made fun of. This is my first attempt. Whether I am right or wrong will come with experience but atleast I feel light in my conscience that I made an attempt.

Jai Hind