The (ab)Normal distribution

I always like to start with a theory .... that's something peculiar about my configuration. Wikipedia states that, "In probability theory, the normal (or Gaussian) distribution is a continuous probability distribution that is often used as a first approximation to describe real-valued random variables that tend to cluster around a single mean value. The graph of the associated probability density function is "bell"-shaped, and is known as the Gaussian function or bell curve:^{[nb 1]}

where parameter μ is the mean (location of the peak) and σ² is the variance (the measure of the width of the distribution). The distribution with μ = 0 and σ² = 1 is called the standard normal."

But that is theory. Now let us take a shift . I watched a documentary on NDTV 24X7 , where I cam across a very admirable and respectable personality Mr. P Sainath, Editor, Rural affairs , the Hindu. He mentioned about Roman History , the reign of Tacitus, and of Nero and his parties. Nero once threw a party , the biggest in the age , in Rome. 

The editor of Harpers pointed to Nero’s garden parties, the lighting for which he provided by setting aflame human beings. Tacitus despised Nero but there is no mention of Nero's guests. How could one enjoy when his fellow humans were being burnt alive to provide light. "Tumso ma Jyotirgamaya", had its meaning turned into an antonym. 

I wonder how, Nero's guests have their presence still in modern society, but after watching the documentary about the rising suicides of farmers, hearing about the rising corruption, growing violence, increasing crime rates and train accidents , I know who Nero's guests are. 

The fastest growing sector in India, is not software/IT my friend , it is the sector of inequality. The normal distribution is getting skewed at an exponentially high rate and the skewness and kurtosis is increasing every second. 

My father once said to me  that whether right or wrong, it is always better to take a step rather than standing immobile. Right or Wrong comes with experience , which I obviously lack. But deep in my heart, I felt,  that I despise the current tragic happenings , the suicides of farmers, the increasing crime rates, rising prices of household goods, the bureaucratic/corruptible norms and  the insensitivity/numbness of the "Mango"  man in the country. I just cannot take it anymore. The unrest in my conscience is making me think what can we do about it. 

History has seen many revolts in India. But they have often been so distributed. Friends let us all for once unite with the people who have the balls to take this initiative. Support them , not mock them, tell the world and this nation that we are not happy and want the system to change. Let us not be Nero's guests and change the equation of the abnormal curve. Whether we succeed or not is immaterial.  Just give it a try, take a step!!!

Jai Hind!

Dyspnea

Oxygen, Oxygen , Oxygen ..... thats what you crave for when you climb a high mountain. Vertigo combined with breathlessness is a feeling that stops the heart from beating, the brain from thinking and causes fear to arouse like a man watching a hot Playmate strip in front of him. Fear is both seductive and destructive. You never know what will happen in future, but the fear of destruction prevents you from the excitement and glory that might be awaiting. The law of Averages engulfs the thought process and averts it from reasoning the greater purpose. That is when fear is destructive. Seductive fear is when you want to take challenges. Risk is directly proportional to greatness. Greater the risk, glorifier the accomplishment. That is when fear becomes less important than the goal.

Coming back to where I started, Dyspnea, shortness of breath. The higher you rise in life , the bigger challenges you face. The air of competition around you gets thinner and thinner and you compete for your own existence. You compete with yourself. The fear of unknown increases and the macro environment plays a very vital role . Almost nothing seems to be in control except , the control of self, the orientation towards the larger goal, the spirit of the warrior who wishes to conquer glory over fear. Attainment gains more importance than existence.

The higher one rises, self attainment and knowledge of self increases. The SWOT matrix changes instantly with time and height. The diamond water paradox inverts. One craves for basic needs and shuns luxury. The feeling of attainment and glory, takes one away from what one has, like Rip Wan Winkle. The time dimension scale gets smaller and smaller, and the crave for breath longer.

Sand Hour Glass

Opportunities are like stop watches . There is a  basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior. A warrior is always watchful, waits with a patient yet vigilant eye for opportunity-intrudes and grasps them not even missing a nano second. Once the stop watch of opportunity stops one has to wait patiently for the next cycle to arrive. Loss of an opportunity is analogous to a treason, a feeling of some of the more serious acts of betrayal. Wait is also a pain that does not subside but increases. 

Life passes by thus looking at the sand hour glass run. This is what I felt the last two weeks. My active wait was over when doors of opportunities opened simultaneously and I was limited by the time dimension to pass through each one of them, equally important. Some people asked me why I rewrite so infrequently, they will know the reason once this blog is published.


Sometimes one feels that 24 hours , 1440 Minutes ,  86400 seconds is way too much to manage one's daily chores. Sometimes he feels that 24 hours is just enough for him to conquer the world. Opportunity is the differentiator and the lever. 


I do not know what I'm aiming to conclude by writing this blog, but it aptly describes my state of mind now - fast, reactive, proactive,  and pulsating with thoughts, options and visualizations. At the moment I just feel that life is a series of near misses. A lot of what we ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It's seizing the day and accepting responsibility for your future. It's seeing what other people don't see and pursuing that vision.

Hibernation to awakening

Procrastination!!! Wikipedia states," In psychology, procrastination refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time." That was what I was doing all these days. I remember my old boss -who looked exactly like a Laughing Buddha, especially after he shaved his head. He would have easily drilled three holes on his skull and used it as a bowling ball - had imparted me this attribute. We started things with utmost interest, raised expectations and then declined . So analogous to the Product Life Cycle Model rising and declining at a faster slope, with almost no maturity stage. 

I started blogging with utmost interest, and then what, procrastinated. But last week brought a sudden change in me and the entire nation. An awakening to excel, thrive to excellence, prove our metal, awaken our consciousness. India won the ICC World Cup 2011. A feeling which cannot be described in words. A moment where exuberance, pride, happiness, relief, surprise and many other feelings flowed simultaneously among millions of hearts in nano seconds of time. That was when we awoke from hibernation. Twenty eight years is a long time dude. This moment proved many critics, including me wrong, but indeed it was a moment when I definitely not regretted accepting my mistake with pride. Thousands of heart beats thumped together crying Jai Hind. That moment had united 1 billion people.

This is definitely not the end. Anna Hazare carried this awakening baton forward when he carried this united movement against Corruption. Thousands of people without food in Jantar Mantar, A few million online and rest in respective cities united against Corruption. This was the major movement seen after Independence !!! 2011 has been a wonderful year indeed when the mindsets of people phased from hibernation to awakening drifting away from procrastination stated in Wikipedia. A practical example of the sloka in Sanskrit, " Tamso ma Jyotirgamaya", Move me from darkness of ignorance to the light of knowledge. Go on India and Mr Hazare , I am with you.

Jai Hind!!!

Grass is greener on the other side

"An opinion is like an ass**le, everybody has one." This was the introductory statement made by my boss when we just sat to have a cup of tea. I spat my first sip once I heard the same and burst out laughing. "What the hell was that?", I wondered. He was right, opinions are something which everybody does have. Perceptions are reality.

I still remember, the times I was in college, how I adored people wearing charcoal grey, navy blue, black suits with striped/plain shirts and fancy neck-ties. I always thought that these people were the most happy beings on earth, those among God's chosen ones, who were destined to enjoy all the world's luxury and goodies. I used to look at myself wearing t-shirts with nasty slogans - my favorite being ,"99% of girls are beautiful, the rest 1% is in my college." - and faded jeans. I just thought to myself, when can I live a life like the people I just mentioned of, sit in luxury air-conditioned cars, travel in business class, have beautiful secretaries, Rolex watches, Mont Blanc/Pierre Cardin pens, expensive laptops etc. etc. Now thats what I call a life !!!! I just puffed my cigarette and read the slogan , "Live Life King Size !" - so analogous to my thoughts. I then remembered that I was rejected by the first company that came to my college for campus and then said to myself , "Nah !!! this is bullshit, you will stay where you are. Land my friend !!! You have a long way to go. " That was my opinion about life. My perception to where I was and my dreams about where I wanted to be.

Ten years from then, I've started wearing suits almost a fortnight, striped shirts have become the order of the day, travel in ac cars and business class , but the comparison my mind made ten years back has actually changed sides. Now I want to wear t-shirts with dirty slogans, faded jeans, a tea with friends in a dilapidated tea shop.

Why? This question strikes my mind . Something which I called life about 10 years back and craved for it , is something that I am tired of . I want to go back to where I was. I soon figured that I was suffering from "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. Girls who used to look unattractive to me in college suddenly looked astonishingly beautiful to me and I repented, "Saala chance miss kar diya / S**t I missed an opportunity man ". The ugly duckling fairy tale.

Moral of the story perceptions are reality and an opinion is like an assh**le. Just do not finger one's opinion or else you would land up with a smelly finger.

Indian Population - the only competition in which Indians are sure to win

Prominence !!! What the hell was that ? Why did I start my blog with this word ? I remembered my friend who in an extempore started his speech with the word SEX !!!! All were taken aback, silence prevailed almost in a instant , a 13 year old boy crying that aloud !!! The principal of my school who happened to be a Jesuit priest clattered his teeth thinking, " Come down from the podium and I will show you what intercourse is , you shameless brat " . But, the next moment, he says," Now that I have your attention let me start the topic of the day, Success is not a destination but a journey." The auditorium applauded and burst out laughing. That was prominence, a very promising speaker who prominently demonstrated his presence and won the hearts of all.

But my mind was boggling about the first word that he uttered, Sex !!!!! A thing that fantasizes the heart of every teenager. Lust was clinging, tall girls with conspicuous assets , surrounding and craving for my attention. Brain is an excellent painter, it paints the image of one's thoughts with utmost perfection.

Stage 2 college !!! The word SEX was now associated with Love .... Lust was almost gone . I realized that I was growing up.

Stage 3 Work !!! The flavor of the word was almost lost . I felt disgusted seeing people bowing their heads down in shame after listening to this word, How I despised the reaction of my principal now . What disgusted me is the fact that most of us were living double standards. Sex is still a taboo for most of us. In villages people still blush when this word is uttered. WTF , I wonder. I appreciate the fact that we are rich in culture and have an age old heritage which many countries lack. We have an immense bundle of talent. Our strength lies in our people , who have the capability to shake the world. But we still have a very defensive attitude. We never seem to accept our mistakes. How long can we lead our lives with a "Chalta Hai " attitude.

Now coming to the first word, Prominence !!! We are becoming prominent, our accomplishments are drawing the attention of the world. The biggest amongst them is our population. This is something which cannot be broken by any country. I agree that China has a bigger population but they are having many measures to control the same. Be rest assured we will beat them hands on. We are a developing nation !!! I hate this statement . My grandfather heard it, my father heard it and now I am hearing this, I do not know if my son and grandchildren will also hear it or not. And our defensive society states that we have a large population as an excuse. Give me a break man. What are we doing to control that? Lame ads on TV on Vasectomy, a person risking his life to get a condom !!!

Sex is a taboo - quite reflected by our body language but not our actions or our thinking. Women getting married early and then turning into baby producing machines. Friends if you read this blog, please do not think I'm complaining. I'm tired of hearing the fact that we are not developing because of our growing population, our corruption etc. etc. We are not developing because we have a weak conscience, are defensive and lack self control.

I will be going to villages for sure, spreading this word, to control our population through the means of education as I do not see any other means. Please suggest if you have alternative solutions. let us all shed our "Chalta Hai" attitude, join hands , accept mistakes, and take measures of correcting them. Show to the world that we are prominent in changing the evils of our society and Making India a developed nation.

Inertia

Newton was a genius who ruined lives of many. God !!! why did you not drop a boulder on his head instead of the apple? A wish every engineer/ science student makes in his life. But anyways he died and left us with laws. Laws and in-laws make a huge difference in your life. Some of my friends heard / created - not sure - one more - "a pole in a hole creates a new soul".

Newton stated ," Every body remains in a state of constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force ." Very true and analogous to our own lives. I was talking about a stress buster a few days back, which happened to come as an oasis in desert of a monotonic life. I met my old friends and had a gala time last weekend. This stress buster was an external force which had a great difference in my energy levels. The next was India's defeat to South Africa in ICC World Cup 2011, when my friend remarked as Aamir Khan in Lagaan, " Kachara Khelega/ Kachara will play". For your reference Kachara is Piyush Chawla. Details mentioned in appendix. We spent hours driving, listening to the song based on our life , "Real Good Looking boy". The next comment was the best. "Behind every successful batsman there is Kamran Akmal. There is a striking similarity between Kamran and Michael Jackson. They both wear gloves for no reason. Kamran's best line would be , " Can I drop you please?" ". We had it. This couldn't help even Nestor from laughing, if he followed cricket. 

Moral of the story: You forget yourself with your buddies and are in a new orbital altogether. The aura around you spreads a lot of positive energy that sucks everything around you as a vacuum cleaner and you feel as if you are the center of the universe. 

Then another external force. Holiday ends. I am back in office, with hundreds of mails lying in my inbox demanding my attention. The aura around you dimmers but the energy levels are much higher than what it was.  I suddenly realize that I've become very efficient and I thank Newton whom I criticized a few days back to design such a law.